


Color me Blue

by My_Evak_Heart



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-05-27 06:17:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15018491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Evak_Heart/pseuds/My_Evak_Heart
Summary: When Simon Spier his sent after typing his first email to bluegreen118@gmail.com - aka the anonymous gay kid at Creekwood High -, he didn't think his anonymous pen-pal would paint a blue sky in his black and white world.p.s. I will be alternating between Simon and Bram's POV.** GOING UNDER MODIFICATIONS **





	1. 1.0 | BLUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After watching the Love, Simon movie I was unsatisfied with the lack of Spierfeld interactions so I decided to take the matter in my own hands and put my own spin on Simon and Bram's story. I will alternate between Simon and Bram's POV and use emails, conversations and scenes from the movie but, don't expect me to copy the full movie. Since all the movie was in Simon's POV, I thought it'd be nice to see the same scenes from BRAM's POV. See how he reacted to Simon's emails and see a bit more of his life. 
> 
> Warning: this is my first try at Spierfeld so please be easy on me. 
> 
> p.s. Bear in mind, I have NOT read the book - but I will do it soon.

** Thursday September 13th **

It all started with a post on the school's gossip website. Kind of like Creekwood High's very own _Gossip Girl_ blog - but, without the wealthy students, fancy soirées...and a lot less scandalous posts. Sorry to disappoint if you were there to see a cheap version of Chuck Bass trading their girlfriend to their uncle for an hotel or a poor imitation of Blair Waldorf loosing their virginity in the back of a limo after stripping in a burlesque club.  

That being said, don't be too disappointed. _Creeksecret_ do have their fair share of exposed secrets and cheating scandals. Not a day went by without someone's dirty laundry being exposed. Most students of Creekwood High followed the blog religiously but, Simon wasn't into that. He prefered to stay away from gossips. They weren't true half of the time anyway.

Simon's best friend, Leah, on the other hand, _loved_ gossips. She was actually the one who drove Simon to type the blog's URL into his browser. He stared at his computer screen, reading this 'Blue's post about being a closeted gay. 

> _Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck on a ferris wheel. One minute I'm on top of the world, the next I'm on rock bottom. Over and over, all day long. Because a lot about life is great. Because nobody knows I'm gay._
> 
> _\- Blue_

A closeted gay kid at Creekwood High? 

Now more than ever, this post called to Simon.

As he read the post over and over, Simon felt like he _had_ to do something. He knew exactly how this 'Blue' kid felt. He knew how suffocating it was to hold a secret like that and how alone he must be feeling. Being a closeted gay felt like you were trapped inside a cage you hold the key to but need to fight a giant two headed dog to get to the lock. 

At least, that's how Simon felt. Maybe Blue felt like that too? 

A part of Simon wanted to write back to this 'Blue', tell him he wasn't alone in this, but something was holding him back. This email would reveal Simon's identity, it would reveal his biggest secret. He doubted Blue would out him - if he made this post, it was probably because he felt alone himself - but a voice in the back of Simon's mind reminded him there was a high possibility said secret would ends up in the wrong hands - accidently or not. 

Simon furrowed his eyebrows, conflicted. He really wanted to help this kid, tell him he wasn't alone in this, but how could he remain anonymous with simon.spier@gmail.com for email address? It was impossible. 

Then, Simon got an idea.

He created a new Gmail account: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com. With an email address like this one, no one would figure out his identity. It was a safe bet.

Once he went through all the process and filled the forms, Simon opened a new window with Blue's email as recipient.

A wave of warmth filled the teenager's body which turned to cold and then back to warm. Simon gripped his hair, tugging at the roots before standing up from his desk. He took long exhales as if to encourage himself and push through the nervousness settling inside his gut. Why was he so nervous to send an email? It's just that, an email.

Except, it was not. This email will reveal his biggest secret and Simon wasn't sure if he was ready to share it yet. His mom told him countless time keeping things bottled up wasn't healthy but, it's difficult to open up about something you've been hiding for so long. Something that's been pushed so far away and locked with so many locks to make extra sure it would be impossible to unlock. He pushed his secret far away and covered the box with awkward flirting and interactions with the female gender and agreeing to his Nick's 'that girl's so hot' comments.

No matter how scary it was, his decision was made. In order to help Blue, Simon will unlock all the locks and tell someone about his homosexuality. 

> **TO: bluegreen118@gmail.com**
> 
> **FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com**
> 
> **DATE:** Sept 13 at 7:15 PM
> 
> **SUBJECT:**  hey
> 
> _Dear Blue,_
> 
> _I'm just like you. For the most part, my life is totally normal. My dad was the annoyingly handsome quarterback who married the hot valedictorian. And no, they didn't peak in high school. I have a sister I actually like, not that I'd ever tell her that. Last year and two-hundred episodes of Chopped ago she decided she wanted to be a chief, which means we're all pretty much her test subjects now. And then, there's my friends... Two of them I've known since pretty much the beginning of time. Or at least kindergarten. One of them I just met a few months ago. But it feels like I've known her forever. We do everything friends do: drink way too much iced coffee, watch bad nineties movies, and hang out at Waffle House dreaming of graduating and moving to a city that doesn't have a Waffle House. And we have each other's back. Always._
> 
> _So like I said, I'm just like you. I have a totally perfect normal life. Except I have one huge ass secret._
> 
> _Jacques._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this first chapter, I'll post the next one once there is enough feedback, xx


	2. 1.5 | JACQUES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bram gets an unexpected email notification and doesn't know how to reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to say thank you for the feedback I got, I honestly didn't think anyone would like/want to read more of this story.

**Friday, September 14th**

**7:51**

The last thing Bram was expecting to see when he woke up Friday morning was an email notification from his new pseudo Gmail account. He'd be lying if he said he didn't expect anyone to comment on _Creeksecrets_ and make assumptions on Blue's identity but, he didn't think anyone would message him personally. That took him by surprise. 

He sat up in bed, daylight coming in from his un-pulled curtains and opened the email. 

As the email came to an end, a small chuckle left his lips. _Jacques_. Bram wasn't stupid, he knew no one at school was named Jacques. Of course the person wouldn't give their real name away. It was a pseudo, like him. 

Bram re-read the email, making sure he read correctly. 

> _So like I said, I'm just like you. I have a totally perfect normal life. Except I have one huge ass secret._

One huge ass secret. It could be anything. Maybe they had a crush on their best friend? Maybe they cheated on a big test? Or...they were sailing in the same boat.

It was most likely the latter. If not, why else would've this 'Jacques' reached out to him? 

Making this post on _Creeksecrets_ took a lot of courage from Bram. The post had been in his drafts for _weeks_ but he never had the courage to post it. He wasn't ready for that yet. He still wasn't. So, he did the next best thing and came out while staying anonymous. Some would say it served nothing and was pointless but, to Bram, it was a step forward and a weight off his shoulder. 

Bram didn't know what took upon him to make the move and send his publication to _Creeksecrets_. To be honest, he still can't believe he did it.

Although he couldn't pinpoint what made him click the send button, there was a few factors that might've pushed him to. For starter, he knew it was impossible that he was the only closeted gay kid at school. According to a survey, 10% of the male population is gay which meant 10% of Creekwood High's male students were rooting for the same team. So far, Ethan was the only member of the LGBTQ+ community at Creekwood High and Bram refused to believe this. There _had_ to be more closeted gays at Creekwood and Bram wanted them to know that there was other students - like him - who were in their shoes. Some maybe were in the same position he was those past two years and that made the boy's heart ache.

When Bram was fifteen, he wished there was someone at his school who would've came out if only to show a young Abraham Luis Greenfeld that it was _okay_ to be gay - or bisexual or trans or whatever that's not classified as the 'norm' - because he had to learn the hard way that fighting who you are will only hurt you in the end. Maybe it would've been easier to accept himself because, although it wouldn't have been _his_ coming out, coming out empowers those who can't. 

Worded like that, it sounded like he wanted to start a movement but, it was not the case. Bram just wanted to show people who felt lonely locked out in their tiny closet that they weren't alone in this.  

It took him a long time but, after two years of struggling, Bram had came to peace and accepted his sexuality. It was a long and tormented chapter of his life. He remembered the nights he cried himself to sleep because he was fighting an internal losing battle: him against his sexuality. As if being a hormonal and emotionally challenged teenager wasn't hard enough, he had to discover girls weren't doing it for him. Before he moved to Shady Creek, his old soccer teammates would take him to parties and encourage him to hook up with girls and Bram tried to make it work - he really did - but, once the girl tried to take things to the next level, it would always end the same way. He'd storm out of the room and run home, hating himself for not being a 'normal' kid.

God, he hated himself _so_ much.

After months and months of living a life of unhappiness and fighting with his untamed feelings, Bram started to realize he couldn't change who he was attracted to and that living a life where you are miserable in your own skin will _never_ do you good. _Loving yourself_  and _accepting yourself_ was the key to happiness. Bram wasn't quite there yet, like any teenagers, he still struggled self-esteem issues but, he was working on that. You can't reach all your goals at the same time.

Talking about goals, soccer season opening night was next Friday and Coach promised he would do more field time this season and that had him thrilled. Bram knew he wasn't the best player of his team - that place was earned by Garret - but he was good at passes. He even scored five goals last season. He was _so_ proud of himself. 

Bram stretched his limbs under his blanket, a yawn leaving his full lips and checked the time on his phone. Almost ten to eight. _Shit_. He's late. It was only a matter of seconds before Garrett would pull up the Greenfeld's driveway with his red Civic and honked loudly only to get glared at by Bram's neighbors. Bram agreed the honking was annoying but, if only that was the only noise that car made... Garrett didn't want to give his friend reason though and argued his beautiful car didn't make any rattling noises. 

Having no time for a shower, Bram skipped it - he'll shower after practice tonight - and walked over to his ensuite bathroom to brush his teeth and pee. Business over, Bram scanned the closet, snatching random clothes from the hangers. A grey sweater and jeans will have to do for today.  

Cleats and practice clothes shoved in his sports bag, Bram descended the stairs and snatched a quick breakfast in the kitchen. Lucky for him his mother had already left for work or else he would've had to sit down and eat a healthy breakfast - which was _not_ a granola bar.

As he was pulling on his sneakers, the familiar honking resonated around the neighborhood.

''What took you so long, man? Were you jacking off or something?'' Garrett asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively as Bram walked out of the house and up to his car.

Bram rolled his eyes at his best friend's teasing, closing the car door and buckling his seatbelt. ''Was _not_.''

''Who were you thinking about? Was is Bianca from Science class...or Kelsey from English? Oh! I know! You were thinking about Mrs. Maxwell, uh?''

The judgement on Bram's face told everything. ''She's a _teacher_. Gross.'' 

Garrett shrugged. ''To each their fantasms.'' 

''Just drive, Garrett.''

.

**12:20**

Regardless of your sexual orientation, everyone has a secret crush. You know, that someone who you secretly look for in the halls or sneak glances at in class?

For Bram, it was Simon Spier.

His fellow teammates would argue and say Ashley Smith from the cheerleading squad was the hottest at Creekwood but Bram didn't give a shit about Ashley Smith. She was pretty, he'll give her that. But, she wasn't 'wow'.

And, Bram wasn't interesting in girls anyway.

Simon was a brunet theater kid whom Bram met through his soccer teammate, Nick Eisner. Other than sharing a lunch table via Nick and casual conversation between bites, the two boys were pretty much strangers. They would see each other at parties and soccer games. Although Simon knew nothing about soccer, he was always in the bleacher cheering for his friends.

Secretly, Bram wished Simon was there to see _him_ and cheer for _him_ but, he knew the name that left the brunet's lips wasn't his but Nick's. 

The also two shared the same English class but, this year, Bram got unlucky and scored a seat at the front, two rows away from Simon. Damn you Mr. Wise for placing students by alphabetical order - Bram was still bitter about that one. 

At lunch, Garret was talking with Nick about the new tactics for tonight while Abby and Leah were sharing details on the new boy in their Math class. Bram was in the same Math class and found the new kid very average and uninteresting. Sure, he had beautiful blue eyes and a toned body but, most of the time, those guys are conceited assholes with no personalities. Bram prefered someone who had opinions and didn't only care about their appearance and 'game' with girls.

Talking about opinionated person, Simon adjacent him, had his eyes glued on his phone. Simon wasn't super talkative but he wasn't usually this antisocial. Bram noticed his eyes would glance at his cellphone every ten seconds despite the school's anti-cellphone polity. Maybe he was waiting for an important text from his sick grandmother or news for a job interview? 

While stealing subtle glancing at Simon, Bram caught sight of the distracted and ansty brunet's fries. Perfectly golden and delicious looking. The raven haired boy was bummed he couldn't take any when he queued at the cafeteria because Coach was standing right behind him and judging his lunch choices. If Coach would've witnessed him add fries on his plate on a game - or even _practice_ \- day, he would've made him run twenty extra laps on Sunday morning practice. Not fun.

Those fries were calling his name though...

Bram glanced around, checking if Coach was around. _One_ fry - or two - won't affect his performance, right?

And, it's an excuse to talk to his secret crush. 

''Simon. Simon?'' Bram waved his hand in front of him to get his attention.

Simon hummed, tearing his eyes from his phone screen to look up at Bram. ''Yeah?'' 

''Can I get some fries?'' he asked with a small, hopeful grin. Bram knew his smile was his best asset so he made good use in order to get what he wanted. Some would say it was manipulative; Bram just wanted some fries. 

''Oh, yeah. Yeah.''

Simon smiled briefly and Bram reached over to pick a fry or two from Simon's plate.

''Yeah? Thanks.'' His eyes were on the theater boy as he chewed his fries, wishing their conversation hadn't been so short. What was he expecting though? He asked for _fries_ , not a detailed essay on world hunger.

Feared to be looking at Simon for too long, Bram tried to jump in on Nick and Garrett's conversation. 

''-I'm telling you, the Oakwood Tigers score so many goals because they shave their legs.''

Nick shot a look at his friend from across the table. ''Garrett, I'm _not_ gonna shave my legs.''

''It makes their kicks more aerodynamic,'' Garrett tried but Nick wasn't having it - and apparently, neither was Bram.

''We can just do extra burpees, man,'' Bram suggested, backing Nick.

Garrett sighed, abandoning his brilliant idea. ''Whatever, Bram.''

.

**18:47**

After practice, Bram sat in front of his computer and forced himself to type a message to Jacques before heading to Garrett's for the evening. He was leaving in ten minutes and he was still staring at a blank page. It was worst than writing an essay about fossils. Perhaps fossils were boring, at least he had a starting point and could get help from his dear friend the internet. 

The teenager had been thinking all day about his reply to Jacques but he couldn't think of anything. Truth be told, he didn't know what to write - at all. He couldn't talk to this Jacques like he talked to his friends. What if he put too much details and it gave away his identity? At the same time, he didn't want to come across as rude and be too impersonal.

There was also this sad possibility someone was catfishing him - classic high school moves here - but Bram held on to the small chance that someone real was writing to him and let his fingers fill the blank page with a few words.

> **TO: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com**
> 
> **FROM: bluegreen118@gmail.com**
> 
> **DATE:** Sep 14 at 5:47 PM
> 
> **SUBJECT:**  RE: hey
> 
> _A secret, huh? Is it the same as my secret? If it is, when did you know? And have you told anyone?_
> 
> _Blue._

.

**Saturday**   **September 15th**

**7:30**

Sweat drenching his tee shirt, Bram made a beeline upstairs after kicking off his running shoes off. He just ran four miles and he was in good need of a shower.

While his soccer teammates loathed running, Bram  _loved_  it. Especially in the morning. He love the clarity of thought during that part of the day - and quiet time. Last spring, Bram used to wake up super early and go for a run before school but was forced to stop once his mother caught him sneaking out at five o'clock. He tried to explain to her that sunrise was the best time to go for a run but she didn't want to hear any of it, saying it was dangerous to be out so early in the morning. Bram had told her she was being paranoid - leaving out the two times he almost got ran over by a car - but with everything that's happening in the US, all the shootings and other racist and discriminatory 'incidents' who the victims were black, Evelyn was less comfortable having her son out so early.

After weeks of whining from the teenager, they negotiated to six-thirty - not a second early - with a promise to eat a healthy breakfast right after. And, who was Bram to refuse food - he was always so hungry after running a few miles. 

Done with his shower, Bram headed to his bedroom to get dressed. He slipped on sweatpants and a navy tee shirt and sat down in front of his laptop of look at the soccer practice schedule online. Garrett said practice was this afternoon and Nick said it was tomorrow. Bram could always ask the team's groupchat but he figured no one was up at this time. Most teenagers aren't morning persons. Only, when Bram turned his laptop on, it chimed with a Gmail notification.

 _New message from_   _hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com_.

> **TO: bluegreen118@gmail.com**
> 
> **FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com**
> 
> **DATE:**  Sep 14 at 6:01 PM
> 
> **SUBJECT:**  RE: hey
> 
> _No, Blue. I haven't told anyone. And honestly I can't even explain why. Deep down I know my family would be fine with it. My mom is about as liberal as the come and my dad isn't exactly the macho type. I mean, Creekwood's resident out gay seems to be doing just fine. When Ethan came out, no one even cared._
> 
> _As for how I knew I was gay, it was a bunch of little things...Like this one recurring dream I kept having about Daniel Radcliffe. Then proceeded to have every nights for a month. I was obsessed with Panic! at the Disco. Then I realized it really wasn't only about the music._
> 
> _And then there was my first girlfriend. Wasn't my proudest moment._
> 
> _How about you? How did you know?_
> 
> _Jacques._

Jacques's story resembled a bit to Bram's as in he too discovered his sexuality due to a movie - in Bram's case TV - character. Before watching Game of Thrones, being attracted to boys wasn't an option he ever considered or thought about. He had never doubted his sexuality before seeing Jon Snow's face and sexy body under that massive crow attire. Remember that scene where he and Ygritte in the cave?

Bram wanted to be Ygritte  _so_  bad.

Although he never had recurring dreams about Jon Snow, he definitely imagined himself alone in that cave with the hot crow.

> **TO: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com**
> 
> **FROM: bluegreen118@gmail.com**
> 
> **DATE:** Sep 15 at 7:30 AM
> 
> **SUBJECT:** RE: hey
> 
> _Jacques,_
> 
> _do not worry. If your proudest moment happened in middle school, that would be pretty sad. For me, I realized I liked guys watching Game of Thrones. My friends were all holding their breath waiting to see the Dragon Princess's boobs. I was crushing hard on Jon Snow._
> 
> _Blue._

''Are you finished showering soon? The food will be cold, honey,'' came Bram's mother's voice from down the stairs just as he hit the send button.

Closing the Gmail tab, Bram turned off his laptop. ''Coming down, Mama,'' he replied.

.

**14:02**

''You cheated!'' 

''Did not.''

''You did! I saw you-''

'' _Guys_ ,'' Bram said, interrupting Garrett and Nick's Xbox argument. ''Can you play  _one_  game without fighting?''

''It's Nick's fault,'' Garrett accused, sliding his leg under Bram's to kick Nick's foot. ''He cheated, he-''

''Bullshit!'' Nick called and Bram sighed, sinking into the couch in hope to get swallowed by its cushions. 

This was exactly why Bram never wanted to play Fifa with them. They  _can't_  play without arguing. Most of the time, it's over dumb things like tripping the other or making a dirty move - thank god they're not like this on the field. 

The bickering kept going and Bram wished he could menace to kick them out but, unfortunately, Mother Nature was not in his favor today. He wasn't going to kick his friends out when it's pouring outside and the boys knew that. He'd feel guilty for getting them rained on and risk getting sick. 

For a second Bram thought about checking his emails to see if Jacques had replied - not that he was waiting for the boy's email - but the paranoid part of him reminded the raven haired boy that doing so while sandwiched between his two friends wasn't the smartest idea. His phone could slip and his emails with Jacques would be on front row for Nick or Garrett to read or one of them could eavesdrop and find out his secret. That thought alone had Bram loosen his touch and leave his phone in his pocket. 

Although Nick and Garrett seemed accepting and non-homophobic, you can't guess someone's reaction. It wasn't the two boys's reaction Bram was apprehending the most but the rest of the soccer team. Like every boys they joked in the locker rooms about dropping the soap and the occasional gay banters here and there but it was  _jokes_. Making gay harmless jokes between straight guys didn't mean they all would be accepting once someone come out for real. 

Bram furrowed his eyebrow, deep in his thoughts. Why did being gay had to bring so much complications? Why couldn't everyone be accepting? Live and let live, right?

''Are you guys going to Damien's party tonight? He said they'll have a keg,'' Garrett asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Nick glared at Garrett from the other end of the couch. ''I'm not keg standing tonight, Laughlin,'' he warned, shaking his head. 

Last time Nick tried to keg stand, he got sick in Mrs. Torres's bushes on the way home. Bram and Garrett had a hard time keeping their mouth shut and not laugh when their Literature teacher talked about the drunk people who ruined her beautiful decor during the weekend. 

''Come on! We need a video of your proudest moment, Eisner. It's for the yearbook,'' Garrett pushed but Nick wasn't returning on his decision.

''Should've thought about that the first time, uh?'' Nick said smugly. ''Why don't you have a try on the keg, Laughlin?''

''Because I'm the designated driver.''

Nick snorted. ''Since where? I'm _always_  the chauffeur.''

''Since tonight.'' Garrett paused. ''No offence, man but, we're too cramped in your mom's Toyota.''

''How is your shitty Civic any better? It's  _the_  worst car ever.''

Bram laughed because Nick was right.

Garrett narrowed his eyes at his friends. ''Say anything else and you'll ride in the trunk!'' he threatened. ''And you,'' he said, pointing to Bram. ''watch your mouth because you'll walk to school next week.''

His voice far from menacing, Garrett's threat had the boys laughing. 

''Back to the keg, Bram's never done it. His turn has come,'' Nick reminded and he and Garrett shared a mischievous smile.

 _Oh no_.

Bram's lips turned into a mildly amused grimace. ''Do I have to?'' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of the chapter? Not much happened but I still need to build Bram's life. Next chapter will be from Simon's eyes! Don't forget to leave kudos and comments, everything is apreciated, xx


	3. 2.0 | EARLY BUTTERFLIES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you thought I had forgot about this story...I did not!

** Sunday, September 16th **

**19:43**

The second he got back from visiting his grandma, Simon rushed upstairs and into his room. He had received Blue's email a few minutes after he left his house to head to his grandma's on Saturday and hadn't been able to reply due to very bad cell reception - and no wifi. The perks of living on a yearly camp site. Why couldn't his grandma be a cool, up to date with technology grandma? Nick's grandma owns an Xbox and can put up Netflix by herself. What a woman!

When Simon had rushed past his mother, the teenager had yelled something about a bathroom emergency, knowing she wouldn't question him.

 _Smart thinking, Simon_.

Before typing his response email, Simon went over Blue's email one last time to refresh his memory - although, if he's being honest, he's read so many times he can almost quote it. 

> **TO: bluegreen118@gmail.com**
> 
> **FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com**
> 
> **DATE:** Sep 16 at 7:43 PM
> 
> **SUBJECT:** RE: hey
> 
> _Well, I've never told anyone about my Daniel Radcliffe phase so now we're even. And for the record, I think Jon Snow is an excellent choice for your sexual awakening. So I guess, if I want to find you at school I just have to look for the Game of Thrones fanatic._
> 
> _Wow. I was just listening to that M83 song "Reunion," and it made me think of you._
> 
> _Jacques._

_Easy peasy_ , Simon thought.

**Monday, September 17th**

**8:50**

Only, as he walked down the halls on Monday morning, tons of students were wearing a _Game of Thrones_ tee shirt. What? Simon was confused because although he wasn't a die hard fan of the show, he knew the season eight wasn't premiering until 2019 and there was no GoT convention around so there wasn't any reasons why everyone could've been wearing their _Game of Thrones_ tee shirts the same day.

Simon sighed in discouragement as his eyes landed on - again - a new person sporting a tee shirt of the infamous show. 

Guess he'll have to find another way to figure out Blue's identity.

.

**12:47**

Lunch hour considered of only Simon and the girls. Coach had decided to have an impromptu meeting with the soccer team concerning their upcoming tournament - which they would be all going to support their friends. Although the tournament was in early November, Coach liked to inform his players in advance. 

''Since when are we having a movie night at _my_ house?'' 

It wasn't the first time a movie night was organized at Simon's house without his consent. Abby, Leah and Nick did it all the time. Lucky for them, Simon didn't mind and his parents were on board with it. Beside Nick's basement, Simon's house was the only place big enough for them to hang out. Leah and her mother's shared appartement was too small and Abby's parents were in the aftermath of a complicated divorce. 

''Since Abby and I said it,'' Leah replied.

Simon narrowed his eyes at the girls but they ignored him. 

''What movies are we watching? We need to make a list,'' Abby pursued, grabbing a pen and opening her binder to tore a piece of paper.

''I don't want to watch _The Notebook_ again. I swear if I watch it once more I'll-'' Simon started but Abby cut him off.

''Are you serious? We can't have a movie night and skip the classics, Si.'' 

Simon almost snorted. _The Notebook_ wasn't a classic and he wasn't saying that because he was a guy. The romanticizing of men refusing to take no for an answer mentality translated into _rape culture_. The main girl protagonist willing to drop out of school just to be in the same town as some guy she's known for maybe 3 months made SImon want to scream 'Your education is more important than a boy!' at the TV screen. Quitting everything in order to follow a guy who will break up with you in a couple months - let's be real here, your future husband probably won't be your high school beau - was plain stupid. And the house Noah built for Allie? Ridiculous! No one is ever going to build a house for a girl, hoping she'd get back to him. 

Movies like _The Notebook_ only gave young girls this unrealistic vision of men which made their expectations in men go up in the wrong ways. They should prioritize someone who respect their decisions rather than someone who can't take no for an answer and someone who will encourage them to pursue their education even if it meant a long distance relationship - school isn't forever anyway. The brunet could go on for hours explaining why this movie was shit but he was pulled out of his thought when Abby mentioned _High School Musical_ , aka his favorite childhood movie.

''Yes!'' Leah squealed. ''Simon owns all the  _High School Musical_ movies in special edition DVDs so we can watch them karaoke style,'' his best friend informed excitedly. ''I'll do Gabriella's parts, you'll do Troy's and Simon can do Sharpay.''

Simon raised an eyebrow, demanding clarification. ''Why do _I_ have to play Sharpay? Abby should do it, she's a girl.'' 

''Because Abby can do Troy's voice better,'' Leah stated, picking up her bottle of juice to drink the remainant drink.

 _True_. It wasn't that Simon's voice was feminine, he was just bad at imitating Zac Effron's slightly nasally voice. Thank god they used someone else's voice for the two other movies. Bless him and his hot body though! 

''You can do Gabriella if you'd like-''

''I could bring you my red dress, it looks exactly like Gabriella's in the first movie,'' Abby offered, interrupting Leah.

The girls started laughing and Simon rolled his eyes. ''I'm good,'' he replied with a tight lipped smile.

In moments like this, where his friends were making subtle and unintentional allusions to his sexuality, Simon felt as if they knew - maybe he had let it slipped accidentally - and it terrified him. 

''We'll need snacks too. My parents loves you all but I doubt they can provide enough snacks for the night,'' Simon said, changing subject. 

''I'm bringing the candies!'' 

''And I the chips!''

Leah gave Abby a look. ''Chips? Everyone knows popcorn is _the_  movie snack,'' she contradicted. ''Along with M&Ms.'' 

Abby frowned, glancing at Simon for help. ''What's wrong with chips?'' 

''Chips are noisy and leaves crumbs everywhere. Literally everywhere. I don't feel like having barbecue crumbs in my bra again, it's so uncomfortable and itchy,'' Leah explained, referring to that time she and Simon watched _Furious 7_ at Nick's. ''What do you prefer, Si?'' 

Oh no. Simon hated having to decide between the two. One of them was always mad at him for choosing despite promising not to. Why was he always the one in this situation? Why can't they ever ask Nick? 

The boy sighed and sailed his boat cautiously but honestly. ''It depends what movie I'm watching...and where I'm watching it. If I'm at the movies: popcorn. If I'm home and it's an action movie with my parents: chips. They make lots of noise when you eat them and we end up changing the film,'' Simon explained proudly. 

And now he sounded like a movie snob... 

Unsatisfied with their friend's answer, the girls looked around the cafeteria for someone who would help tie the debate since Simon was unfit for the job - sorry not sorry. They get that he didn't want to stand in the middle of a snack war but he could've at least picked a side. _Fake ass_. Abby spotted Nick at the cafeteria's entrance just as Leah caught sight of Bram two tables from them, the two just released from Coach's soccer meeting. 

''Bram!'' Leah called, waving him over. He frowned, confused but walked over. ''What's best for a movie night. Chips or popcorn?'' 

Bram shook his head. ''You're both wrong. It's definitely  _Oreos_. Always Oreos.''

.

**14:22**

Simon was in class when Blue's next email arrived in his inbox. Butterflies erupted in his stomach when he got the notification which never failed to make the boy frown. It was a new feeling for Simon and he was a little confused why it was happening. In books, this kind of feeling was being used to describe how the protagonist was in the same room as their crush but this couldn't apply to Simon. Simon couldn't have a crush on Blue. It sounded absurd for many reasons. First, Simon had never seen Blue - he didn't even know his real name - and secondly, they were only at their sixth email. 

In any other situations, Simon was a relatively patient person. But, when it came to Blue and their emails, he had this urgency to read them right as they dropped in his Gmail inbox. To avoid the risk of getting his phone confiscated, Simon decided to use his classmates's technique of propping a textbook in front of him, high enough so his teacher wouldn't see his phone steadied between the two pages. 

> **TO: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com**
> 
> **FROM: bluegreen118@gmail.com**
> 
> **DATE:** Sep 17 at 2:22 PM
> 
> **SUBJECT:** RE: hey
> 
> _You'll probably think my music taste is lame. Kind of have the same taste as my Aunt Sally who loves show tunes. Obviously, some of the things I've told you about myself are things I've never talked about with anyone. There's something about you that makes me want to open up and that's slightly terrifying for me._
> 
> _Blue._

Before pressing on 'Reply', Simon glanced up at Mr. Salvatore, checking if it was safe to write back to Blue. The man was sitting behind his desk, reading glasses on the bridge of his nose, busy going over some exams from his precedent group. The coast was clear. Simon's lips turned up slightly and he started typing behind his textbook.

> **TO: bluegreen118@gmail.com**
> 
> **FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com**
> 
> **DATE:** Sep 17 at 2:28 PM
> 
> **SUBJECT:** GoT fanatics ruined my plan
> 
> _I get what you're saying, Blue. I've told you more about me than I ever told my best friends. I've opened my closet to you - pun intended. I can't put the finger on what pushes me to tell you all these things about me. Although, now that I'm thinking about it, the anonymity is most likely to be the reason._
> 
> _P.s. Why was everyone wearing Games of Thrones tee shirts today? And here I thought I was being smart... Did you call them all personally to mess with me?_
> 
> _Jacques._

 .

**Tuesday, September 18th**

**7:02**

For once, Simon was up early. 

Emily had to pinch herself when she saw her son wide awake before seven because it _never_ happens. Not only Simon loved to laze around and sleep in late, he was also a heavy sleeper much to his parents's frustration. Beside their dog Bieber, no one could get him to wake up.    

Being the first to wake up had its advantages: you were the first to shower. 

As lathered the soap, his heartbreaking solo was interrupted by a new notification on his phone. Simon furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance. Who dared interrupting him mid-singing to a My Chemical Romance hit? It wasn't the best choice for the shower - and was rather depressing - but Simon loved this band. He was still bitter about their break up - don't even mention it to him.

Carefully, Simon poked his head out of the shower, hair dripping water down his back and slightly on his face, and grabbed his phone, lips turning up when he saw it was Blue.

> **TO: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com**
> 
> **FROM: bluegreen118@gmail.com**
> 
> **DATE:**  Sep 18 at 7:02 AM
> 
> **SUBJECT:** RE: GoT fanatics ruined my plan 
> 
> _Jacques,_
> 
> _sorry your plan to reveal my identity was ruined by GoT fanatics. I'm gonna disappoint you again, I actually do not own any Game of Thrones shirt. Smart thinking though._
> 
> _GoT aside, I was in Health class today and you know how they have all these posters about safe sex. I don't want to sound like the LGBTQ+ police but, have you ever noticed how discriminatory they are? None of them shows two women or two men; always a woman and man. They encourage hetero teenagers to have sex safely but, what about gays? Don't you think gay kids should be informed about safe sex too? Sure, there is internet and that's where all kids gets their informations these days but, still._
> 
> _Did you ever remarked that gay content is higher rated than hetero content? The M.P.A.A. (Motion Picture Association of America, aka the ones who decided of the movie ratings) was accused of homophobia because their rating was harder on films featuring gay sex or characters than it is on movies featuring straight sex._
> 
> _Can you believe a movie with cute dogs and a family centered plot will be rated PG-13 if two women were to kiss? It's outrageous! It's one of the reason why movie makers are so hesitant to insert gay content and sexual diversity into their movies - a higher rate equals less viewers allowed to see their films._
> 
> _Suicide Squad didn't reference Harley's bisexuality - which was explored in many of the comic books, especially a romantic relationship with fellow villainess Poison Ivy. They ignored this side of her and, instead, romanticized her abusive relationship with The Joker. They'd rather promote abusive straight relationships than healthy gay relationships...what?! Where is the common sense here?_
> 
> _There's this one movie - can't recall the title and it kills me! - that got rated PG-13 because of 'thematic elements, sexual references, language, and teen partying'. I can't help but wonder, is homosexuality the theme in question? It's like they are shielding kids of the LGBTQ+ community, like they don't want them to know they exist._ _Little do their know, there's young kids out there who could use some homosexual figure to identify in a character in order to accept their homosexuality better._
> 
> _Why is it that kids are 'too young' to decide their sexuality unless that sexuality is straight?_
> 
> _I remember when I was in middle school, our teacher was addressing puberty and sexuality and...you know, giving us the sex talk. She was explaining everything with plastic toys, making it very awkward for ten years old me. If I could have disappeared in the tiled floor, I would've! She went over homosexuality and, that day, one boy in my class announced he was gay. To the whole class. This moment will forever be engraved in my mind. Now, you might think the teacher was being supportive but no, she laughed in his face and said he was too young to know if he was gay._
> 
> _I also remember her saying being bisexual was impossible. That bisexual person were just confused._
> 
> _And people wonder why society is still homophobic..._
> 
> _Blue._

Instead of pursuing his shower, Simon typed back a lengthy response - it really couldn't wait. 

> **TO: bluegreen118@gmail.com**
> 
> **FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com**
> 
> **DATE:**  Sep 18 at 7:25 AM
> 
> **SUBJECT:** RE: GoT fanatics ruined my plan 
> 
> _Blue,_
> 
> _wow, that was one long email. I usually express myself under 140 characters but, I'll try to extend my character limit just for you._   _Count yourself lucky._
> 
> _I've been in Mr. Valee's Health class for four years now and I'll admit, I hadn't noticed. It looks like they're trying to force heterosexuality on us but, how hetero can they turn us honestly? Posters won't make us switch boats._
> 
> _What kind of school were you in? At that age, my best friend - who's the same age as me - was obsessed with slash fanfiction. She'd spend all day reading about Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy hooking up in thousand of ways in every broom closets at hogwarts. She unintentionally got me hooked too. I found the ones with the best grammar and read those all nights. No wonder why Daniel Radcliffe was haunting my nights..._   _That year, I also taught myself how to do laundry. There are some socks that shouldn't be washed by your mom._
> 
> _That was probably TMI. I apologize._
> 
> _I didn't know how ignorant I was about the film industry until now. Thanks for educating me on the matter. I was aware of Harley's bixuality. Believe it or not, I'm one of the biggest fan of DC. I thought they would touch on her sexuality in the second movie but, now that I think about it, a sequel won't happen - Suicide Squad sucked._
> 
> _I hope one day the world realize there's bigger problem than boys who kiss boys._
> 
> _Jacques._

''What took you so long? You were in there for more than thirty minutes,'' Nora complained as he exited the bathroom. She was still dressed in her light pink pajama with dogs all over and her blond hair were all over the place. 

Simon opened his mouth to reply but he couldn't tell her he was responding to Blue's email, she would be pissed to know he was monopolizing the bathroom for that. Just then, Jack appeared to pass in the hallway, hearing the kids's conversation. He looked at Simon with a knowing smirk and Nora looked between the two and pulled a face, realizing what her brother must've been doing in the shower. _Ew_.

''Scratch that, I don't even wanna know.'' She brushed past him and closed the door behind her. Finally, she could pee.

.

**15:59**

After school, Simon drove Leah to her place and they hung out in her room. Out of their friend group, Simon was the only one who was allowed to come at Leah's. It wasn't that she didn't want to invite Nick or Abby - she would love to have them over - but her mom and her's small apartment reflected their financial situation and she wasn't ready to open up about that part of her life. 

''Oh my god. Have you seen Creeksecrets today?'' 

''First of all, you're obsessed with that blog, so...'' Simon pointed out.

Leah rolled her eyes and sat down on her twin bed, crossing her legs. ''Okay, but apparently, Becca Peterson got caught giving Ryan O'Donovan a hand job in the pool. That's the real reason they drained it.''

''I _knew_ the story about some kid peeing in it during natation over the weekend was false!'' 

''Right. Kids pee in the pool all the time and they don't drain it. Thank god for chlorure.'' 

''Gross.'' Simon scrunched his face in disgust. ''No wonder Becca wasn't in History today.''

Leah agreed and went back to her phone, probably stalking Creeksecrets. Simon was right about Leah, she was literally  _obsessed_ with this blog. While Simon loved gossiping, he wasn't following Creeksecrets religiously like his best friend. And, he knew he could count of her if something interesting was posted on Tumblr. 

''Oh, do you remember the post I told you about last Tuesday? The one about the gay kid at school? Well...I know who made the post,'' Leah announced excitedly.

Suddenly, Simon's attention was to its fullest and his ears were wide open. He hadn't been this interested in a gossip since someone everyone thought Taylor Metternich had died from spinal meningitis in third grade after being absent for two weeks - turned out she only had the flu. Everyone was shocked when she sat in class Monday morning two weeks later. They all thought she had came back from the dead. 

He tried to tone down his greediness, paranoid Leah would get suspicious and ask questions. He can't blow his cover. 

 '' _Cal Price_.''

.

**16:50**

''Can you pick up Nora from band practice in ten minutes? Your dad just went to the store to get milk for tomorrow and we both know he won't be back in time,'' Emily asked her son as he returned from Leah's. 

Simon took his shoes off, 

''Yes, I had a good day. Thanks for asking, Mom,'' Simon replied with sarcasm.

His mom narrowed her eyes. ''Simon. I'm serious for Nora. Can you-''

''I'm kidding. Yeah, I'll go.'' 

Seven minutes later, Simon pulled into Creekwood High's parking lot and parked his car near the doors of the building. At this hour, the parking lot was almost empty bare from a few teachers and kids who were a part of extracurricular activities like science club, sports or band. The janitor's car must be somewhere too. 

Simon picked up his phone from the goblet holder and warned his sister that he was there. She probably won't see his message until Mrs. Rosenberg say to put instruments away since phones weren't allowed to band practice. He put on some music and waited for his sister.

Sitting there, Simon couldn't help but think about Cal Price who, according to Leah, was Blue.

 _Cal Price_.

Simon was still shocked that Cal was the one behind Blue's identity. He would've never guessed it was him.

Cal was a part of the theater club with Simon and Abby. He had blonde hair and bright blue eyes - maybe that's what inspired his pseudo? He has always been nice to Simon and was the reason why Simon had gotten a bigger part in this year's musical. Although he was a good actor, Ms. Albright had heard him play piano last year during the school's talent show and decided to promote him as musical director. During the auditions, the blond may have put a good word about Simon to Ms. Albright. Without Cal's help, Simon probably wouldn't have had the lead role in the school's musical during his Senior year.

So, thanks again, Cal.

Simon was pulled out of his thoughts as his phone received a new message. Surprisingly, Nora's reply was fast and made Simon groan. She was going to be late of ten minutes. Was she serious? Who doesn't she think he is, her person chauffeur? Ugh, teenage girls...

Simon rolled his eyes and opened his game of _Candy Crush_ although he _hated_ the game _._ He passed two levels before he got stuck on level 54 and frustratedly closed the game app. 

Eight minutes to go.

The music changed to a Troye Sivan song - Leah's choice - just as a new notification popped on his screen:  _You have a new email from **Bluegreen118@gmail.com**_

> **TO: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com**
> 
> **FROM: bluegreen118@gmail.com**
> 
> **DATE:**  Sep 18 at 5:02 PM
> 
> **SUBJECT:** RE: GoT fanatics ruined my plan 
> 
> _My parents had me go to a Jewish school all my life in fear I would get bullied. They were right._   _Try being black and half-jewish without getting bullied. Now I have to add being gay to that list. Luckily, when we moved, I convinced them to let me go to a public school that turned out to be Creekwood._
> 
> _And you, how was your middle school experience like, Jacques?_
> 
> _Blue._

And, that just confirmed Leah was wrong about Cal Price being the boy from Tumblr. Cal was white and Blue just said he was black.

A part of Simon can't help but be a little disappointed that Cal wasn't Blue. Cal was cute and Simon thought he would've been a good boyfriend to him. 

Simon sighed. Back to square one!

Checking the time, Simon had a few minutes left before Nora would get in the car so he started typing.

> **TO: bluegreen118@gmail.com**
> 
> **FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com**
> 
> **DATE:**  Sep 18 at 5:11 PM
> 
> **SUBJECT:** RE: GoT fanatics ruined my plan 
> 
> _You can’t imagine how much I hated middle school. I was the nerdy kid with glasses and read books during recess. Needless to say, I had little to no friends. Who wants to hang out with the awkward boy who talks about Harry Potter and superheros all the time? I even had a Marvel themed backpack. Yeah..._
> 
> _Middle school was also when I got my first girlfriend. Awesome time! ...Not. The night of the Valentine's Day school dance, she told me she loved me and I ran to the bathrooms and locked myself in a stall, legs up so no one would see me hiding in there, and I texted my mom to come pick me up. I had to lie and tell her the kids were drinking alcohol, knowing she would've pick me up if I told her I just wanted to go home. You see, my mom always encouraged me to be more social and participate to school activities when I'd rather stay home and read Harry Potter or Percy Jackson._
> 
> _I found two of my best friend during middle school. It was the only highlight of those ten years of misery._
> 
> _Jacques._

Just as Simon hit send, Nora knocked on his car window. He unlocked the doors and let her in.

''Hey.'' 

''Hey, loser,'' she replied with a sly grin, buckling her seatbelt. ''Sorry it took so long. Mrs. Rosenberg asked to talk to me after practice. She said she was impressed with my guitar skills considering I've only been playing for a year,'' Nora proudly announced. 

Simon smiled. ''That's good. Next thing you know, you'll be the next Joan Jett.''

''I don't want to pop your bubble Simon but, Joan Jett has black hair and plays rock n roll. I'm more of a Taylor Swift person.''

The teenager tried to hide his grimace at the mention of the blonde popstar - he wasn't a fan of Taylor Swift. He didn't have anything against her, her music style just wasn't his cup of tea. Just like anything that played on the radio. 

Before pulling out of the parking lot, Simon changed the playlist and Eliot Smith's voice filled the car much to Nora's distaste. 

.

**Wednesday, September 19th**

**15:27**

Unlike yesterday, Simon didn't go to bed early. Therefore, he woke up late and cursed himself for it because today was the first day of drama rehearsal and he had a feeling Ms. Albright wouldn't be on board with his sleep deprived mind. Simon couldn't fuck it up though. He had scored a big role this year and he was very excited. It was going to be a key in his college applications if he wanted to pursue theater.

It was Simon's third year in a row that he got to take part of the school's musical and he loved it. Sure, Ms. Albright was a bit demanding and and harsh when it came to criticizing and pointing out everyone's wrongs but the end result was worth it. 

This year, Ms. Albright chose _Cabaret_ and although some parents were vocal about their disapprobation of the musical's choice, saying it wasn't appropriate for high school student and they were probably right but, Ms. Albright ignored them all and went trough with her idea. 

Simon even convinced Abby to join the theater club. She had mad dancing skills and Simon was sure it would benefit the musical. She had never been a part of a musical but Simon promised her it would be fun and she believed him...until she saw how many parts she had to learn in two weeks. 

''Willkommen, bienvenue. Welcome in cabaret. Au cabaret, to cabaret-''

Everyone danced, sang and followed the choreography Ms. Albright taught them ten minutes ago - or, that's what they thought they were doing. Because this was a god damn fiasco. Nobody is sync and that idiot Martin Addison almost fell down the table in the back mid-movement. 

Ms. Albright clapped and everyone stopped. ''Okay.''

Everyone was smiling, thinking they did good and Ms. Albright was about to congratulate them. 

''Those aren't actual claps,'' Martin pointed out. 

''My hands are tired!'' the black haired woman defended with a chuckle. ''Okay! All right. That was...'' She was speechless and it wasn't positive. ''Cal, help me. That was...'' 

The blond raised an eyebrow from his seat at the piano, trying to help his drama teacher. ''That was a start?'' he offered.

Ms. Albright clicked her fingers, thanking Cal for helping her find her words. ''That was a start! Is what it was. That was a start. You know, when Mr. Worth told me that no student, regardless of talent...was to be left out of my production, I had my doubts. Yes, I did.'' She chuckled dryly. ''Yeah. That's it. That's my whole speech.''

From the bottom of the stage, Taylor Metternich raised her hand. ''Ms. Albright. Hi. That was the biggest train wreck our stage has ever seen. And Rob and Brianne were practically dry humping the whole song,'' she informed, glancing at Rob and Brianne with her side eye.

''Oh, I saw.'' She turned to the couple. ''Save the kissing for the cast party. All right? This is war. You're Nazis. Okay? More anger. Suraj,'' Ms. Albright called out, catching his doing unholy things from the corner of her eye. ''Stop pretending that trumpet is your penis! It is a rental.'' Everyone laughed and Ms. Albright shook her head in discouragement. ''I was an extra in The Lion King, and this is where I am,'' she mumbled to herself.

The women nodded at Cal to go and the boy cleared his throat, blue eyes on his piano. ''One! Two! Three! Four!'' 

Cal pressed the starting chord and it started again. 

''Welcome...''

Despite her unimpressed speech, nothing had changed. This musical was going to be a fucking disaster.

Hiding her face behind her script, Ms. Albright sighed. ''I will kill you.'' 

.

**21:39**

Waffle House was _the_ classic meet up place between Simon's friend group. It didn't matter if it was ten o'clock on a Sunday or one in the morning on a Friday - well, Saturday -, waffles always tasted good. 

After the first musical rehearsal, Simon drove up to Waffle House with Abby for a late coffee. Ms. Albright had prolonged the rehearsal and didn't let them free until six o'clock. By then, everyone had lost their voice from singing for so long. Simon's legs and arms were killing him from all the dancing and knew tomorrow would feel worse. Maybe he should start working out on the weekend? No. He didn't have time for that. He'd rather sleep.

''I didn't think being a part of a musical could be so exhausting,'' Abby said as Simon park his car in front of her apartment building. 

''Yeah, I had forgotten about that...'' Simon laughed. ''You'll get used to the routine though. Give it a month and you won't feel a thing.''

Abby stared at him. ''Was that supposed to make me feel better?'' 

''I don't know,'' he replied, furrowing his eyebrows.

He said good night to Abby and drove home. 

His parents were in the living room when Simon walked in, both of the unable to go to sleep before their two children are safe at home. Simon found it annoying but his mom told him he'll do the same when he has kids on day. _Yeah...good luck with that_ , he wanted to tell them. 

After hours of rehearsal, he would kill for a bath. According to some article he read online, they did wonders for sore muscles. Simon didn't take a bath though, he went straight to his room and fell on his bed, sighing as his back his his soft mattress. So satisfying. 

He closed his eyes for a few minutes, relaxing before he rolled over and grabbed his laptop to catch up on YouTube videos - and possible check his emails. 

> **TO: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com**
> 
> **FROM: bluegreen118@gmail.com**
> 
> **DATE:**  Sep 19 at 9:03 PM
> 
> **SUBJECT:** vigilante identity
> 
> _Hey Jacques,_
> 
> _do you ever wish you had a secret identity, kinda like a superhero?_ _I already have the pseudo down so, maybe that's what we are: superheros._ _Call me selfish but, if I were to be a superhero, I wouldn't want to save the world. Not that I think the world doesn't need help or saving._
> 
> _I_ _guess what I mean is that sometimes, it feels like everyone knows who I am except me. How can I feel like a stranger to myself?_
> 
> _Although I have tons of friends, if you were to ask them about my favorite color, my parents's names or what I want to do in college, they would confidently think their answer is correct but, it's not. I know for a fact that they would get them all wrong. I spend Monday through Friday - sometimes the weekends too - with them yet,_ _I feel like no one really knows me. Not even my best friend. It's like I'm a secret vigilante and they don't know who I am behind my superhero suit._
> 
> _Except with you. With you, Jacques, I'm me. The real me._
> 
> _Blue._
> 
> _P.s. Sorry if this email was on the depressing side. I'll write you a happier one next time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter, it took me HOURS to write. I know we haven't seen a lot of Bram in this chapter but, know that Bram wasn't too present in Simon's life - other than sitting with them at lunch. Next chapter will be from Bram's side. Don't forget to leave kudos and comments, xx
> 
> Thoughts on Simon's attempt to finding Blue trough merch at school? The girls planning a movie night without him? Bram ruining Leah's movie snack survey? Simon sneakily responding to Blue in class? Gossip time with Leah? The theater rehearsal? ( I HAD to put that scene in, it's hilarious.) Bram feeling like a superhero? What do you think Simon will say back?


End file.
